I was trapped for a while in the mindset that because something bad happened to me, Heavenly Father must have wanted it to happen to me in order to test me or teach me or even just so I could experience evil and darkness and He had a legal excuse to put me through it because of the fall of man.
Needless to say, this can be a very dangerous thinking pattern because it alludes that God is not good if He wants bad things to happen to us, and secretly has sadistic qualities, or delights in our pain.
Let's put the record straight. Any thought that takes away peace is not from God. God allows bad things to happen to us and He does not save us in order to protect agency.
But the question quickly becomes, why is agency so important, that innocent children should have to go through horror and trauma at the hands of evil perpetrators? Obviously, an omniscient God ought to do something about this!
Well, I don't have answers to everything but I do have the answer that softened my heart.
When I was little, my sisters and I used to go to bed on Friday nights with a plan of waking up early and cleaning the house and making pancakes for my parents before they woke up. I can't tell you how exciting it was to think up such a plan and organize how we would carry it out. How good it felt to use agency to bless others' lives! Just think, if God did not allow me agency, I would have missed out on the amazing good feeling you get when you think of a special way to build someone and bless them, all on your own!
Can you think of a time when you did something good for someone? How good did that make you feel? When you help someone out of the blue just for the sake of goodness, you feel good inside. You almost feel omnipotent for a moment, because you had the power to bless someone, in a way that God couldn't even do without you.
God gave us our agency so we could use it to do good. To be instruments in His hands to bless, build, edify, and uplift others out of our own free will.
2 Nephi 2:16 states, "Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself. Wherefore, man could not act for himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other.(https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/2.15-16?lang=eng#14).
God always and only entices us to do good. Satan uses his agency to entice us to do evil. But God does not want any one to use their agency for evil.
So when someone does, and it hurts us, Jesus compensates us to make it fair. If you were a victim of sexual abuse, Jesus can give you the gift of discernment to help you through it. Now not only do you have a gift to help you through your healing and the rest of your life, you can use that gift to help others also. He can take the bad thing that happened to you and give you a gift so you can use your agency to do more good to yourself and to others than what you previously could do. You have just become an uplifting machine for others!
It is through the atonement and the gifts of the atonement that we are healed, not the repentance of the abuser. The ability to forgive is a spiritual gift. The ability to love is a spiritual gift.
No, God does not want you to suffer abuse of any kind, and if every one would obey the Holy Spirt and the light of Christ, we would all be in heaven by now. He does want us to learn to be responsible with our agency, and that means we will make lots of mistakes. But He has at His side gifts to make it fair for those who are sinned against, and tools to get ourselves back on the road to happiness, forgiveness, peace and joy.
Ultimately, the Savior can heal us and help us get through hard things if we give our lives to Him. And why wouldn't we want to give our lives to Him, He is the Master when it comes to love. He is our teacher. Let us give our lives to Him so He can make us happy!
I must update that while God does not find joy in our pain, He does allow bad things to happen to us for a reason. If that makes it hard to trust in Him, as it did me, then it may be necessary to pray to receive a trusting spirit. I was not able to go forward in my healing until my husband blessed me with a trusting spirit under the guidance of the Lord.
Julie T. Bucker
Is love stronger? Stronger than all other things? Whose side will you choose to be on?
Satanic Ritual Abuse