I did not know I had DID until I realized I was struggling with not "checking out" when taking care of my kids. I would have a strong pull to engage in time wasting activities instead of engaging my children and giving them the attention and care that they need. Also, when my husband or someone close to me would have conversations with me, I had a hard time paying attention to what they were saying. I would be listening with one personality, but then I would switch to another personality and not know what they were talking about. If you have DID or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), then here is a great way to heal from it.
1. Pick a time you are feeling afraid, depressed, or less than optimal. You may need to put aside any addictions before you realize that you have feelings of fear. So put down the fork and allow yourself to feel your fear. Go look in the mirror. If you have DID, then your left brain and your right brain really don't see eye to eye. They each have their own view of things. When you switch personalities, your eyes will switch from seeing from one eye being dominant to another. Look at photographs of yourself. Do some of them have a noticeable difference as to which eye is more open? You may have been a different personality during that picture. Here are two pictures of me with different personalities showing through:
You can see on the left picture, my right eye is clearly open. That means my left brain (talking brain) is being dominant right now. In the picture on the right, you can see that my left eye is more open, meaning that my right brain (feelings brain) is being more dominant.
When you are feeling fearful, there is a good chance there is some switching going on. Go look in the mirror and look at one of your eyes for a second. Now the other one. Is there a natural tendency to want to switch focus back to the previous eye? If your feelings brain/left eye is triggered, which it usually is when you are feeling afraid, then there will be a tendency to switch back and forth from one eye to another. If you try to focus on looking at both eyes, there will be a blur. With practice, you can start focusing on one eye and then the other in a back and forth manner. As you completely relax, you will find you start switching focus from one eye to another naturally so just allow your brain to look at yourself in the mirror with these two different focuses, back and forth, repeatedly. If you want, you can imagine a figure 8 going around your eyes, intersecting at the bridge of your nose. What you are doing is INTEGRATING the two images. What your right eye sees and what your left eye sees are different because your left and right brain are not integrated. You need to continue back and forth with your eyes, accelerating your switching of focus, and then blur your vision with a figure eight going around your eyes in order for your two brains to start communicating with each other. The right brain holds the scary feelings, and the left brain holds the words. They need to get in touch with each other by realizing that you are the same person in that mirror. Then they can start integrating memories, and repressed memories in your right brain can give that fear you feel a voice and ultimately let the fear go.
2. After doing a few minutes of mirror work, (I did it before bed because night time triggered my fear emotions...) it is a really really good time to analyze your dreams. I usually wake up with an unusual amount of peace after doing this, which means the scared feelings that have been stuck in my right brain have finally integrated with my left brain (sometimes referred to as MAIN personality) and the resources from my main personality were able to HEAL the feelings of fear from my right brain. The first time I did this, I had a dream of living in an apartment, and finding a door in that apartment. I went through the door, and low and behold, another girl was living in the apartment with me, about my same age. I realized that two main parts of me were now realizing each other existed. The dream ended with me going downstairs with her, symbolizing going into my subconscious to make circuitry connections that were not made in the past so that I can become single minded.
3. The healing process is not complete without Jesus. Now, Jesus is Life and Truth. John 8:12 states, "I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life." and John 8:32 states, "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." Doctrine and Covenants 84:45 says, "For the word of the Lord is truth, and whatsoever is truth is light, and whatsoever is light is Spirit, even the Spirit of Jesus Christ. (All of the Doctrine and Covenants can be found on lds.org).
So these scriptures teach us that every time we encounter truth, we are encountering the spirit of Jesus Christ. And truth leads to Life. If we want to be happy, we need to recognize that the Spirit or Light of Christ is with us always. Jesus loves us so much, and it is His spirit that is in and through all things. Doctrine and Covenants 63:59 states, " Behold, I am from above, and my power lieth beneath. I am overall, and in all, and through all..."
One thing my therapist did that was crucial to quick and easy healing, was to know and imagine that I lived with God and Jesus before I came to earth. I was to imagine being with God, and being taught of the courage and talents I would have to overcome opposition on this earth. I was to imagine being in the womb as a baby and to imagine the Savior being with me. Then to realize He is coming with me through that birth canal because of His wonderful spirit that is with me. I was to imagine Him coming with me through my birth experience, and then to take a few minutes to imagine Him being with me every moment of my life up until my current age right now.
I was to visualize the Savior being with me as a baby, and six month old, 1 year old, 2 years old, etc. And to forgive any mistakes I made because I was just learning. There isn't a need to feel all the feelings of my different life circumstances, but just watch and see the Savior with me like a movie screen in my mind.
As I reached my current age, I was then led to imagine a camp fire, and see myself and the Savior and His love for me represented by that campfire. And then to look and see the parts of me that were dissociated. I then was told to open my arms to them and tell them bluntly and sincerely, "I AM SORRY. I AM SORRY YOU EVER FELT ALONE OR UNWANTED. I AM HERE FOR YOU. PLEASE COME INTO MY SOUL WITH ME." I then imagined these 5 parts coming into my soul and becoming one with me. Then I was to draw a figure 8 over my entire body several times until I felt integrated (3 to 10 times).
If you do this on your own, be sure to say a prayer and drink lots of water before/during the exercise. It is necessary to understand that Jesus is always with us and He never abandons us. His love for us is unconditional.
4. In order to stay integrated, you need to practice listening to the light/spirit of Jesus now. There are soo many different voices in our heads and we need to listen to the hope that comes from Jesus Christ. There is a really good blog post on this at 924jeremiah.wordpress.com entitled, "Mind Wars: Defending Against Demonic Voices in Your Head." Under the tab "Spiritual Warfare." The specific link is:
Basically, most of our thoughts are not our own, even though we think in the first person. Even most of our visual images are not are own, which is why we need to not watch things that would poison the light of Christ within us.
It is a lifetime process to learn to recognize the spirit of truth. One thing you can do is get out a journal or type your prayers and then type God's response. He is always talking with us, and we can learn to tune in to His voice. His voice will always speak truth, lead to healing, and comfort you and help you feel better.
5. There is a really good essential oil from butterflyexpress.org entitled "Insight." It is specifically designed to heal the wounded inner child. Put a couple drops on your feet before bed. It is like having a good and loving friend support you as you conquer your fears.
Julie T. Bucker
Is love stronger? Stronger than all other things? Whose side will you choose to be on?
Satanic Ritual Abuse