If you would like to understand what it is like to be inside the mind of someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder, I would recommend watching this episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. It is entitled, "Frame of Mind", Season 6, Episode 21. My husband and I watched it on Hulu last night. My jaw dropped. I can't think of a better visual to help you understand what it is like to have multiple personalities, all living in an alternate reality in order to protect the core from going insane because of a traumatic event.
General Riker goes through a scenario where a certain line of a play he is working on 'triggers' him and causes him to dissociate into a different reality. He starts undergoing a process to uncover the truth about what really happened to him where he had a blank spot in his mind. Part of the process involves his meeting the different aspects of his personality. He has an aspect to hold the emotion of the unremembered event, an aspect to hold the body memories, and an aspect to explain logically what he thought had happened to him. Still in a dis-illusion while he meets different aspects of himself; he has to put them all together to try to discern what is real.
As he got deeper into understanding that his mind was creating 2 different worlds, he finally uncovered the memory of trauma that had caused him to dissociate in the first place. While in each world, he believed that world was the 'right' one, and the other world was the 'dream' one.
While going through his mind programming, he was constantly told how crazy he was by his personalities. This is exactly what it is like to have D.I.D. Imagine being abused in a satanic family where everyone in your family tells you you are the insane one. You begin to develop personalities that copy what your family tells you.
Once he understood the memory of the core trauma, he was able to discern all of his made up aspects and by way of death, overcome them. This is exactly the process of integration. Many times in my programming, I have hit on suicide or self harm programs, or internal explosive devices. How scary but at the same time relieving when suicide programs go off, and I 'survive' the death that occurs when the program goes off. That is exactly what Riker had to do in order to break his programming, he had to overcome the fear of death that he believed would happen if he 'remembered' the core trauma.
At the end of the show, Counsellor Troy gives him a classic definition of Dissociative Identity Disorder, as she tells him that in order to survive the trauma and not go insane, he created multiple personality aspects to help ground him.
Commander Riker did this in order to protect himself from 1 set of traumas. I have had to do this for over 200 core traumas. For each core trauma, I had created several aspects of myself and different worlds to hold the complicated incongruities of my experiences. That is why I have had close to 1,000 personalities to heal.
Julie T. Bucker
Is love stronger? Stronger than all other things? Whose side will you choose to be on?
Satanic Ritual Abuse