After I was sexually abused, I experimented for a very short while with masturbation. I felt very very horrible about it and stopped, and didn't confess it to my bishop for almost 20 years. I am so glad I finally followed through with the prompting to confess that to my bishop because of this experience I had last night:
I was dreaming about sitting in a room and a very powerful demonic presence was with me, I then was woken up aware that it was inside me, and had power over me. I could not talk, I was completely bound by it. I blubbered in my mind, "In the name of Jesus Christ my Master I command you to depart." I was not able to really even think it clearly but I did my best and through God's grace it left.
I continued dreaming about a part of my spirit that dissociated from my body and was twirling around the room for a while on a swing. At first it felt good, but I felt guilty inside. I realized I was doing something wrong. I asked the Lord, "What is the interpretation for the swing?" The reply came firmly, "MASTURBATION." I was floating in the air on this swing, and I knew I needed to get off and not be afraid of falling. I popped off the swing, and the arm of the Lord appeared for me to hold on to. I was carried on it for a while. I then knew that this part of me needed to come back to my body and that is when I woke up.
I had been working on Rapid Eye Movement by doing eye work in the mirror before bed. This is when I look in the mirror and switch my eyes from looking at one eye to the other as rapidly as I can. I do this to help my mind re-associate parts of my spirit that have dissociated. I usually can see when my mind switches from one personality to another when I do this. I have come to expect the parts to partially or fully re-associate when I go to bed, which is what happened tonight. Many times the parts are kept dissociated and unaware of each other by a demon, so rapid eye movement helps get rid of them.
If you suffer from dissociation, I want you to know that this is a safe process. I have never felt afraid during the process of getting rid of demons, and it is by God's grace that I am able to experience them leaving this way. If you need to do eye work for your own mind, I encourage you to do it and have no fear. I have experienced powerful evil like I have said but I have never been afraid of it, I have always felt the presence of my Heavenly Parents and my Savior Jesus Christ during the whole process and I look at these experiences from the Lord as educational and nothing too hard for the Lord to help me with.
I come away from this experience a little shaken at how powerful an evil masturbation is. The evil presence I felt in my spirit was comparable in my mind to a very strong magnitude planet. I think a lot of times there are little demons here and there that we all deal with on a daily basis, but this was by no means a small devil. This one was extremely powerful, and I know it is by the grace of God I was not destroyed from it. I know there is a lot of justification for masturbation and people do not think of it as a real sexual sin, but the truth is it is very powerful, so do not do what I did for many years and just try to justify it away. It is a real cause for repentance. For me, even though I was a child, I knew it was wrong and I needed to confess to my bishop, but I was too afraid to at that time. But now as an adult I have, and I know it was the right thing to do.
Julie T. Bucker
Is love stronger? Stronger than all other things? Whose side will you choose to be on?
Satanic Ritual Abuse