If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, the first thing you need to realize is that you are not the only one who has ever felt this way. Most people feel this way at one time or another. Proverbs 8:36 states, "But he that sinneth against me wrongeth his own soul: all they that hate me love death."
Suicide is so tempting because it puts you out of your misery instantly (or so you think), and gets back at God for whatever He is putting you through right now. Let us reason this out. All of God's children always have to choose between life and death. Proverbs 8:34-35 states, "Blessed is the man that heareth me, watching daily at my gates, waiting at the posts of my doors. For whoso findeth me findeth life, and shall obtain favour of the Lord."
Whose side are you on? Are you on the side of life or death? If you kill yourself, you have chosen death. And if you choose that side you will continue to work for that side, not only causing pain and death for yourself, but everyone you know, including future or current spouse and children.
Life is always a struggle and that is why suicide looks so reasonable at times. Of course, your spirit doesn't want this. But your flesh can be completely overwhelmed sometimes.
Sometimes you can get a paper and pen and write down all your feelings and find the lie. Find the reason the devil wants you to kill yourself. Are you about to do some great work for God? One of the great reasons why you are here in these last days before Jesus comes again, is because of your spirit's strength. All of the world's sins that have not been overcome in past generations are bearing fruit in our generation. We have ancestors who are lining up hoping we will overcome the weaknesses that they were not able to overcome. Wether that is racism, sugar addiction, tempers, anger, homosexuality and immorality, and etc.
We also have been blessed to inherit the world's many strengths. We have technoglogy, convenience, and quality of life in many cases that blesses our lives because of our progenitors. I recognize many of my spiritual gifts such as having dreams and musical abilities were acquired by my ancestors.
You really need the Savior on this. Can you see His face in your minds eye? Can you see how troubled He is for you? Can you see His absolute tears and anguish for how you feel? He loves you too much to take away your burdens. But He promised to never leave you alone. He is with you. Every time you eat something, Jesus is experiencing it with you. Every time to do anything, Jesus is with you experiencing it. You are never alone.
Are you listening for His voice and watching at the door posts for Him? He is blessing you right now. He is giving you words to help you keep going. Life is hard. But you really don't want death for all of humanity. You may be thinking, "yes I do, yes I do," and find a million reasons why you are justified in this. It is okay to feel this way. Go into your closet and duke it out with God. Tell Him all the reasons you are justified in killing yourself and why life is not fair.
It may be an extremely ravishing experience to honestly show God how you truly feel about Him. It is a scary thing to think that you hate God, and yet, if you feel suicidal, you do hate God. And that is okay. Jesus died for those of us that hate Him (I say 'us' because I have felt this way, though I do not feel it anymore). He feels awful for the pain that hating Him causes us. It completely destroys and bruises our soul when we feel this way, and He feels sorry for our sakes that we feel this way. He died for those of us who hate Him. It wasn't for those who love Him, it was for those who hate HIm. He wanted to know what it feels like to hate life so that He could succor those of us who also hate life. He truly understands us and WILL help us. He WILL become our personal Savior.
Go into your closet and open your heart completely to God. See Him watching you, listening, and waiting for you to get it off your chest. Vent it out to Him. He can take it. He can hear you. Nothing you say is going to surprise Him. He already knows how you feel. When you open your heart to Him to show Him the blackness in you, it allows God to pour light into your soul and this makes the blackness leave.
You can do this. You can get through this. If you are in an emergency and you can't go to your closet, hold your breath. Hold it for as many seconds as you can. See if you really want to experience that kind of pain forever, because if you kill yourself, the spiritual pain will not stop. If you stay alive, there is always a chance and reality that you will feel better soon.
You are a child of God, and no matter what you do or how you feel, God loves you. He knows how to rescue you. He knows how to help you. One way He has helped me in the past is to help me laugh. I think when you are feeling suicidal that is extremely beneficial. When the devil whispers scary suicidal thoughts to you, it is not coming from you, but him and you can joke about it with him. He has no come back for humor and a sense of humor is a spiritual gift that comes directly from Jesus.
From my experience, Jesus is the real santa clause. He can laugh heartily. He gives gifts to all of His children moment by moment and hour by hour. What would santa clause think if the devil told him to kill himself? Don't you think he would just laugh a good ho ho ho and go back to merrily singing? There is no way santa clause (Jesus) would ever be scared by a suicidal thought.
Jesus really can heal you from this. He knows exactly how you feel and He can get you through it. Watch for Him. If you are feeling suicidal, you are also very close to God spiritually. You will be able to see Him in your mind's eye as you look and watch and wait for Him.
One more thought: Jesus holds the keys to creation and destruction. Satan does not get away with anything that God doesn't allow. God allows destruction because He has that authority, and you do not. You do not have the keys to take your own life, nor the authority. Only Jesus holds those keys. It is easy to think that because someone hurt you, why shouldn't you hurt yourself? But the reason is you do not have the authority to hurt yourself. Jesus is inside of you and if you hurt yourself, you are openly hurting His creation that He made for His own purposes. Please respect His authority and trust Him with the keys of creation and destruction and don't take them into your own hands. Humble yourself before Him and you will be glad you did.
God bless you.
Julie T. Bucker
Is love stronger? Stronger than all other things? Whose side will you choose to be on?
Satanic Ritual Abuse