I keep struggling with understanding the difference between justice and mercy, and how to know if you are going to be saved in the kingdom of heaven. I have been struggling with panic attacks because of my inability to understand the Lord's grace on the one hand and God's requirement for personal worthiness on the other.
Last night, I had a dream that put that provided the insight I have been seeking after.
I dreamt of my family riding in a car. My dad was driving on a very straight course. It was dark outside but I was comfortable in the back seat. I felt safe and secure, knowing that my dad was going to get me to where we needed to go.
Then there was a company of people passing by. I was immediately drawn to them. I noticed that they were parading how beautiful the women in the group were. They all had perfect waist sizes and were walking on a jig-saw path with stairs and sharp turns. I started to join them because I wanted to be perfect and beautiful like them. The women were carrying two clay pots, one on either side. As I joined them, I felt uneasy. I became aware that these people were unknowingly on a pathway to hell. I then went back to be in the car with my family where I felt safe.
After I woke up, the Holy Spirit started whispering to me the interpretation.
1. The clay pots the women were carrying represents people who try to balance justice and mercy on their own. The skinny waists of the women represents the false spirit of self righteousness, where people judge their own worthiness before God based on their appearance of living the commandments and not based on the joy and peace of heart found by daily walking with the Lord.
2. Riding in the car represents faith in Jesus Christ. By looking to Him with our hearts, He will drive us safely home on the straight and narrow course back to God. There is safety and peace when you rest in His love. Jesus will endure with me and all of my weaknesses. By looking to Him in every deed and thought, I can have 100% assurance that He will purify me in time of all my weaknesses until I am utterly clean.
I also learned that S. abuse can deceive someone into believing that they cannot trust God. Just like S. abuse exposes you and then mocks you, you can be deceived into thinking that God is the same way. That because God knows your weaknesses, He will expose you and then make fun of you or throw you into hell because of them. This is not true. Hell does exist, but it exists for those who don't know or care about God. In other words, it exists for those who are trying to become perfect without God. We can choose to put our trust in Jesus Christ. As we do, it enables us to tap into God's power of redemption.
Jesus Christ's power atones for our "nakedness" and makes our nakedness holy unto procreation. The Lord then clothes us in Holiness and Acceptability before God. God is not about exposing our sins in order to make us feel bad. He is about clothing us in worthiness by His tender, loving care. As we trust His tenderness and love , we will find that we are on that straight and narrow road. We can have faith that He will perfect us on our journey back to God. All we have to do is look to Him and repent as He shows us what we need to do to become more worthy.
I really think the key here is to recognize that we are children and babes to the Lord. Even the Lord cannot perfect us in 24 hours. He needs more time, give or take 1000 years to make us Holy enough to be 'grown up' and fully developed in righteousness. The key is to trust in Him to make us perfect in time. Which means none of us are going to be perfect at once. The work of salvation for the family of Adam has been going on for thousands of years, so living the gospel is not so much a matter of how perfect you are right now as it is a matter of how safely we trust in the Lord's ability and strength to purify us in His timing.
Julie T. Bucker
Is love stronger? Stronger than all other things? Whose side will you choose to be on?
Satanic Ritual Abuse